tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
