Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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