Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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