Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize