Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
