So drunk its hurt
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
