there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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