google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
