dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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