I CAN MOONWALK!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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