your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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