i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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