you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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