Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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