We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
