She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize