kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
