my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
