He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize