He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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