dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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