Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He passed out mid-signature
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize