Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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