drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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