Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
