toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
zippers are such a cool invention
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize