I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
