tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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