Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Randomize
