I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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