sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
