were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
