i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
