would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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