we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
