Need sex. Gaining weight.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
