you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
