Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
