I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
