Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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