I'm going to jail i love you
I just found puke in my bra..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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