k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize