This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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