walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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