We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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