Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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