sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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