# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
