I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We are all done wearing pants today
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
