How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
