Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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