Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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