My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
