that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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