While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
