Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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