Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
