awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
