everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize